


Love In The Laboratory - Or The Mysteriously Accurate PPDC Fanfiction Blog

by LightningLemonade



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: M/M, Mention of Stacker Pentacost, Mentions Tendo, Mentions all the pilots, Pre-Movie, Scientists who can't deal with feelings in normal ways, Shipping blog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 04:02:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4165008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningLemonade/pseuds/LightningLemonade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermann uses search alerts. He stumbles across a blog dedicated to writing sordid romance between people in the PPDC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hermann Discovers Fanfiction, Featuring Himself

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction I've written in about four years? Something like that. These science dorks have taken over my life a little bit, so here we go - a 2 to 3 chapter piece of work based partly on something that actually happened in my university.
> 
> The gaming society in my university actually had a fanfiction Tumblr account, and a lot of slash smut was written. It was a strange event - but I got thinking the other day "surely someone would do one on the PPDC".
> 
> One thing led to another and oh look I've written this chapter. Enjoy! <3
> 
> Side note, there is mention of incest but just from the perspective of Hermann going "what the hell".

Hermann sometimes regretted putting search alerts on his online accounts. K-Science (and spelling variants), Kaiju, Breach, Jaeger and his name (also Geiszler's, but he'd never admit to that) turned up a lot of results. His inbox folder for these alerts was crammed with theories, papers, references and a great deal of propaganda. But also a few more...disturbing results. Namely a particular blog called "PPDCShip", which popped up every now and then. This site claimed to be run by someone in the PPDC, someone "high up and in the know" according to the description, though accepted submissions from any and all fans. Hermann had no idea who "high up" would bother to write the drivel on this bloody blog, it was far more likely to be a bored tech on downtime or similar.

The PPDCShip was a long running collection of short stories based on the people in various Shatterdomes. For two years now, this popular blog had added another "pairing" to its list - there was a massive section dedicated to supposed romance between himself and Newton bloody Geiszler. Because it kept using his and Geiszler's names, he of course found out about it through some dodgy search terms that included their names.

Though who the hell searches for "Newton Geiszler Hermann Gottlieb lemon" is anyone's guess. (What the significance of the 'lemon' bit was he wasn't sure, though it seemed to lead to all the depraved pieces of fiction)

Amongst the strange pieces of fiction that depict sordid romance and extremely deviant sexual encounters between pilots (some of whom are _related_ , honestly, there are people who speculate and write romance between the Becket brothers, the Hansen father and son, even the Wei triplets! What is wrong with these people?!), there's a collection of works involving Tendo Choi and pretty much anyone who's a member of the PPDC and then...many about himself and Newton.

The quality varies, as it would with a open submission system. Some are badly written, uninspired, against the chalkboard hatesex which make Hermann laugh from how godawful they are (and there's nearly a hundred focused on hatesex and/or sex against the chalkboards, these people are terribly lacking in ideas). But some - from what the tags claim is the person who runs the blog, some are remarkably well written. More concerning, incredibly accurate on where furniture is in the lab, clothing they wear and the sort of details that only someone who knew the two and the lab interior would be familiar with. Which at least confirmed that whoever ran the blog did work for the PPDC, but their identity beyond that was a mystery. Once, Hermann idly thought that Marshall Pentacost could be writing these, which prompted a laughing fit so strong and loud Newton had to check on him to make sure he was okay.

The first few days after coming across the PPDCShip, Hermann had trawled through a goodly portion of the stories featuring himself and Newton with a mix of amusement and horror. He stayed up-to-date on it out of some sense of duty, to ensure that no PPDC secrets were being revealed on this website. But after a while, it became a place he visited frequently because he...rather liked it. It didn't help his mild crush (Mild! Crush! Casual infatuation! Possible Stockholm Syndrome!) on his disaster of a lab partner was getting stronger and more distracting.

He could lose himself in the fictitious encounters, the well written ones. They portrayed himself as a more confident man than he felt, able to confess his feelings in some stunning manner that would take the breath away from the object of his affections. They also made him out to be a fantastic lover - oh how he wished, but only having two partners and the last one parted ways about four years ago does not mean he's in practice. Still, his fictional self, the one who knows how ply delightful moans with delicate swipes of the tongue...it was better than his own fantasies based on his less than stellar sexual encounters.

From then on, PPDCShip progressed from a liked site to an "obsessively follow and re-read on days when feeling particularly lonely or a desire to pretend Newton liked him in such a way" while attempting to hide his affection for Newton from the man himself. Also trying to keep the site secret from Newton because the biologist did not need to know about it, not at all. 

So it came as a surprise when one early morning, as Newton stumbled out the lab and down the corridor to catch some much-needed sleep and Hermann carefully wandered to the lab wielding a coffee cup and his cane, to see Newton's workstation displaying that very website he'd been visiting for the last few months. Hermann nearly dropped his cup in shock. The mathematician's initial reaction was to close the page, but no, no, Newton would _know_ he'd seen it. Better just to ignore it, it's not there.

Which was he even reading? It couldn't hurt to look, maybe it was just one about the pilots, or anyone but...themselves.

Hermann checked down the corridor to ensure Newton wasn't coming back - the smaller man had a habit of returning to the lab in a sleepy stupor to grab things he'd forgotten, like his iPod or his tablet, or on one memorable occasion after a sixty-five hour workday - his shirt and a singular boot. This was NOT something he needed to be interrupted by Newton. Confirming that the area seemed clear, Hermann took a closer look at Newton's workstation. It was definitely the PPDCShip, the distinctive theme of Jaegers and Kaiju holding hearts emblazoned on the screen. And the story displayed was...

"Oh, mein gott." Hermann muttered. It was a chapter from his preferred serial work that the blog maintainer wrote, Love in the Lab. Terrible title, but the writer was skilled at erotica. Particularly erotica of two scientists, or so it seemed. Oh gott, it was on one of Hermann's favourite chapters as well, the one where he's under Newton's desk and blowing the biologist. Oh if only he could. He sighed dejectedly, shoving his desires towards Newton to one side while preparing to face his calculations. The Breach wasn't going to predict itself.

He turned around, about to take a sip of his still warm coffee - and his brown eyes met green. Oh...fuck.

Of course. Newton Bloody Geiszler had to come back to the lab right at that point.


	2. Newt Writes Fanfiction, Starring Himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It started as a joke between friends and turned into something a lot bigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bloody hell this was kind of hard to write. I had to consult my bestie, who is my Newt to my Hermann (in the platonic "OH GOD DON'T DO THE THING...He did the thing...Okay, I'm coming with you so you don't damage yourself more." way).
> 
> So our headcanon for this is yes, Newt would have read Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter slashfics.
> 
> I really hope I wrote Newt right.

So it started as a joke! Tendo made a comment about Shatterdome gossip, Newton may have joked that the romance rumour mill could write its own fiction rather than mere speculation and our bowtie wearing Commander took it seriously!

Why he had to write something between Stacker Pentacost and Hercules Hansen though..."The Way You Look Tonight" has terrible connotations for Newt now, that no amount of coffee and late nights can purge. One day he'll have revenge on Tendo for that. Inflicting it on everyone else via the internet was a decent alternative for now. And that's how the PPDCShip was born. One joke between friends and suddenly slash fiction's being written about Mark I pilots. Honestly though, it was more interesting than the occasional Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter he'd read long ago. (If anything can make someone like guys, Draco Malfoy in leather pants is that thing)

At least it was this Tendo took him up on and not the idea of the Jaeger pilot test being "Perform Gangnam Style in a Jaeger". Tendo was too drunk to take it seriously at the time. He hopes. Newt refuses to be responsible for that one.

And when Tendo made a (frankly awful looking) site to host his (also godawful) writing, it was natural that Newt should tidy it up and suddenly he's running the site because "You can do it better than me, brother." It's slowly growing as well, that's the weird and scary bit. He keeps tabs on it in the nights he's in the lab on his own (nights, early mornings, y'know), tidies up people's submissions, tags them right and watches as this one time joke transforms into a side project. A side project that, if the mutterings he keeps catching in the mess hall are to be believe, Holy Shit, people are really getting into this and liking it. Loving it, even!

He feels like a secret rockstar. Not quite like a rockstar rockstar, but hey, he'll take what he can get.

It's all going pretty well. Until someone (he suspects Tendo. Ass.) submits a story about himself and Hermann Fucking Gottlieb (quite literally, against a chalkboard.) This is very much under "Things Newt has thought about but knows would not happen" and that someone else has thought about it makes it well...a little bit weird. Oh sure, there's always been weird rumours that the two of them would have the best hatesex in the world (which he really hopes Hermann hasn't heard), but someone WROTE it? Oh god.

Over the next few months, more gets written. Even with the depleting resources, Jaeger's dropping every battle, support for the Wall of Life growing further - the PPDCShip grows. A few people even make drawings and comics, more write, and it's always something talked about, no matter which Shatterdome Newt's in. The biologist feels damn proud he's contributing to morale, even with the mild downsides of "people writing about him and Hermann" and "Tendo using it as a way to find out if people are interested in him".

It may have been a stab of loneliness that prompted this at first. Loneliness, a realisation he'd not found anyone he liked beyond Hermann Fucking Gottlieb who he was _pretty sure_ was married last time he checked, there were now thirty stories of the heads of K-Science going at it like bunnies, and four shots of the Russian's bathtub-vodka (which would kill someone one day) plus a couple of bottles of German beer his dad sent him may have encouraged this too. It's 2AM, it's a Hong Kong heatwave which not even the thick walls of the Shatterdome can entirely stave off and there is no way in hell Newt's going to be able to sleep with this much alcohol in his system.

So, bad decision number...He wasn't sure how many he'd made today. Next bad decision then. Laptop on, blasting Fall Out Boy (Emo music is drunk writing music, no one can tell him otherwise. Many good bits of a thesis or two were written to Fall Out Boy and cheap beer) to his tiny room, blank document open, blinking cursor. Newt stares at the keyboard for a few seconds, wondering where to start. 

He knows he won't start with hatesex, that's for sure. The idea (or frequent fantasy) of Hermann sweeping him off his feet (not literally, figuratively), then inviting or dragging him back to a room, not the lab, fucking in the lab where there are biohazards seems like the worst idea ever, why had no one thought of that when they wrote about the two of them screwing, huh?! Kaiju Blue and sex doesn't seem like it'd mix well and normally Newt'd find out himself but he doubts he could get anyone to agree to sex near Kaiju parts. Oh well. Something to be theorised another time. Maybe it'd be okay to screw in the lab if it was a specimen dry spell and he deep-cleaned beforehand? Yeah that'd be fine. Better than "fucking against a specimen tank" which was a written thing.

Bless alcohol, because without it, this wouldn't be flowing out of his fingers so fast. Not coherently, he'll tidy it in the morning, but the lack of inhibitions are making him write the best erotica he can out of several terrible two year old fantasies. Oh god it's been at least two years of pining, how the fuck did it go on this long?

Sometime in the writing storm, Newt finally succumbed to sleep. Sometime in the morning (what normal people called the morning, not sleep-deprived rockstars with science to conduct!) he looked over what he wrote. He made some minor edits, left the document alone for now, drank what felt like a bucket of coffee to counteract the mega-hangover (someone will die from the Russian's vodka, he swears), utterly confused Hermann with the lack of music blaring in the lab - "Shhhh Hermann, please use your chalkboard more quietly." "...You should know better than to drink the Kaidanovsky's attempt at vodka." "Shit dude, guess it looks like I don't. Chalkboard quieter please."

And later, once Hermann's gone to bed and berated him to do the same (to no effect, of course.) Newt finally looks at his drunken creation. He makes a few more major edits (like to things that are not physically possible for any human but the inebriated mind can dream, right?), tidies up his bad spelling, and posts it before he can think more on it.

Well, maybe he gives a tiny bit of thought. To the title. Naming it "Love in the Lab" is cheesy as fuck, but seems appropriate considering all the others are just terribly written porn, almost. He's pouring out his feelings here. And sure, everyone can read it now but at least he's not actually sending it to the person he's writing about (LIKE TENDO DOES, THAT MAN IS SHAMELESS AND HOW DOES IT KEEP WORKING) and oh. Oh crap, now he really needs to keep this hidden from Hermann.

Somehow he manages to keep writing Love in the Lab and keep it secret for over a year. Hell, he's pretty sure Hermann doesn't even know PPDCShip exists, somehow. Impressive, as Newt knows for a fact Hermann hangs out with the Kaidanovskys regularly, and Alexis writes poetry to his wife and posts it via PPDCShip. Which is _adorable_.

Still, he had to fuck up at some point. It was a normal morning, he was stumbling out to either sleep or obtain coffee, whichever came first. He'd just reviewed a shitload of posts on PPDCShip and decided to re-read an older chapter of Love in the Lab (the idea of Hermann blowing him under his desk was one of those persistent fantasies. Hermann would kill him if he ever found out) but first, coffee. Or sleep. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Hermann briskly walking to the lab, cane in one hand, fresh coffee in the other. 

Newt got about halfway to the mess hall before he realised he hadn't killed the display on his work station. Adrenaline was one HELL of a wakeup method, he should use this more often, more effective than caffeine! He propelled himself back to the lab, hoping Hermann had completely ignored everything but coffee and chalkboards.

No such luck. Fuck. He's looking at Newt's screen. "Oh, mein gott." Hermann mumbles and Newt can't tell if that's good or bad, best assume bad, cause oh god he's MARRIED, well, Newt's pretty sure of this. Either way this is fucking embarrassing. Hermann sighed, turned around and whoops. Their eyes have met. This would be normally a cliché lead up to a kiss or something but...

Crap. How's he going to explain this?


	3. Hermann And Newt, United By Sordid Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Always ensure your screen is clear of incriminating evidence. Except when it prompts much needed conversations.

All in the lab was silent for two seconds. Then Newt exploded.

"Oh shit, shit, you weren't meant to see that! I thought I'd killed the display, oh god, just forget what you saw Hermann, it's uh, it's nothing!" Newton leapt for his workstation, nearly knocking Hermann to the ground in his haste. The holo-display cut out, and Newt's panicked giggle echoed through the lab. "Oh fuck. How...how much did you read? Not uhm, too much right?"

Hermann took a sip of his coffee, unsure of what to say. The truth. The truth is probably necessary at this point. "That particular chapter? I couldn't give you an exact count. That specific work I have read from start to finish twelve times. The site PPDCShip, I check daily." 

Newton's face descends into his hands, groaning "someone kill me now...what guy writes stuff about a married man..."

The mathematician froze. Two important pieces of information were just presented to him. First, Newton wrote Love in the Lab. Which means that he'd at least thought about the two of them...together...in such a fashion. Second, he thought Hermann was still married. He'd been divorced for several years now, he thought Newton _knew_. 

Newt shoots up and stares at Hermann. That stare he usually gives to specimens, not people. "Wait a minute Hermann, you've been...you _know_ about PPDCShip? You've been reading Love in the Lab?"

Hermann turns his cane, twisting the handle through his fingers. "I've been reading the site since stories of us both appeared. I've been reading Love in the Lab since it started."

Newton's hands start to shake, he slumps onto the nearest seat and his legs jitter away. "And, you're...okay with this, man...?"

Hermann's face goes bright red. "Er, okay is one, one way to put it." 

"But dude, aren't you like, married?" Newt squeaks out.

Hermann shakes his head, gripping his cane tighter on nervous reflex. "I've been divorced for...a while, nearly five years now. Vanessa and myself grew apart, what with my work with the PPDC taking me away from her for so long and she...she fell in love with my sister Karla." 

"Whoa, dude. Okay. Uhm. What do you even say to that? 'I'm sorry your wife went lesbian?'" 

Hermann smiles, despite himself. "I'm happy for them both, regardless of bizarre circumstances." 

Ever so subtly, Newton's shaking got more erratic. "S-so man, you uh, you liked my writing?"

"Yes, Newton. One might even say I love it. Like I...er, like I..." Of course he couldn't get the bloody words out. He has no perfect timing like his fictional counterpart, no confidence to even take advantage of a situation handed to him on a silver platter. Like the man Newton wrote him out to be. How absolutely pitifully disappointing. He tapped his cane on the ground in frustration, shut his eyes and sighed angrily.

"Hey." Hermann cracks open one eye cautiously, to suddenly see a Newton extraordinarily close to his face. "I'm going to kiss you now. I don't know if it's the sleep deprivation or the lack of caffeine or suddenly knowing holy shit, you read my shitty stories of how much I freaking love you and you're not married so..." Hermann felt his face turn redder through Newton's ramblings (how is that possible? Is that physically possible? He'd have to ask Newton. Later) reaching supernova levels as Newton closed the gap. 

Hermann Gottlieb was kissing Newton Bloody Geiszler. Well, maybe it was the other way around. He'll take what he can get.

Newton pulled back, smiling nervously. "So Hermann...could you tell me which chapters you liked the best?"

"I'd rather act out a few of my favourites, if er, you'd be partial to."

The grin he got from the biologist was the best answer he could have hoped for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoooo, it's done! I've managed to finish a fic that wasn't a one shot! I didn't get bored in the middle! I actually did the thing!
> 
> Couple of things: I am a massive sucker for Vanessa/Karla and I'm not even sure why. One day I'll write something with more Vanessa, today is not that day.
> 
> Secondly: I hope to the gods this comes out alright. I naturally wrote this more from Hermann's perspective, my Newt voice is hard to pin down.
> 
> Oh - thank you all for the absolutely fantastic comments! They really brightened up my day and pushed me forward! <3 Meganbagels' especially, thanks so much! <3 
> 
> I'm definitely writing more when I have the time, I have a library AU idea bouncing around that needs to be experimented with.
> 
> EDIT: Changed the formatting of this chapter to be easier to read, I hope. Thanks killerweasel for the suggestion! <3


End file.
